you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like
"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"
how do you know hell has wifi
satan owes me several favors
Don’t use the vacuum in the same room as her
OH MY GOSH DYING
omg ok so i was at my locker and i overheard a guy talking about how some other guy kept making eye contact with him and the guy was like “i think he’s gay, that’s so fuckin weird” and a girl who was getting her stuff beside the guy was like “yea that’s very weird considering you’re ugly as fuck” and she walked away like a bad bitch and everyone’s hands went over their mouths and it was the greatest experience ever
never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’
I CANT HANDLE THIS
are we just ignoring that wand is called a baguette in french?
the baguette chooses the wizard mr. potter
i found this on my computer. WHEN IN THE LIVING FUCK DID I MAKE THIS?!
God: Gabe, stop, I’m working.
Gabriel: I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING TOOOOOOO!
God: Here’s a box of parts, go nuts.
God: -several hours later- Gabe? Where are you, my son?
Gabriel: DAD, LOOKIT!
God: Dafuq is that?
Gabriel: A PLATYPUS!
OHMYGODS, THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THAT!
They don’t do much
this is the fucking funniest thing ever
LOOK at it though
"just put it in australia"
ok guys so i just had a breakthrough
so in the beginning of the song pompeii by bastille it sounds like theyre saying eheu a bunch of times well eheu is latin for ‘alas’ or ‘oh no’
and iM STILL LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE ITS CALLED POMPEII AND MOUNT VESUVIUS DESTROYED THE FUCKIN CITY OF COURSE THEY WOULD BE SAYING OH NO
What do you call someone who is obsessed with the moon
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.