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Simply Self

tsarbucks:

tehlofflies:

tsarbucks:

you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like 

"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"

how do you know hell has wifi

satan owes me several favors


vampire-daughter:

awwww-cute:

Don’t use the vacuum in the same room as her

OH MY GOSH DYING

vampire-daughter:

awwww-cute:

Don’t use the vacuum in the same room as her

OH MY GOSH DYING



failedsuicideclub:

"any plans for valentine’s day?"

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guy:

omg ok so i was at my locker and i overheard a guy talking about how some other guy kept making eye contact with him and the guy was like “i think he’s gay, that’s so fuckin weird” and a girl who was getting her stuff beside the guy was like “yea that’s very weird considering you’re ugly as fuck” and she walked away like a bad bitch and everyone’s hands went over their mouths and it was the greatest experience ever



I’d say go to hell, but I never want to see you again.

I’d say go to hell, but I never want to see you again.


wizard-in-the-tardis:

dayofthefishdoctor:

karemloo:

fuckyeahlukemyernaked:

never forget that for voldemort’s name to rearrange to “je suis voldemort” in the french translations, they had to make his middle name ‘Elvis’

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I CANT HANDLE THIS

are we just ignoring that wand is called a baguette in french?

the baguette chooses the wizard mr. potter

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FRENCH


whoknowsyou09:

We should have these everywhere 

whoknowsyou09:

We should have these everywhere 


komaedazzle:

i found this on my computer. WHEN IN THE LIVING FUCK DID I MAKE THIS?!


mjnz:

My dash this morning is hilarious and awesome.

mjnz:

My dash this morning is hilarious and awesome.


consultingsinnerman:

catinthefedora:

tealdragon:

consulting-cannibal:

catinthefedora:

drawsshits:

thearchangeltrickster:

God: Gabe, stop, I’m working.
Gabriel: I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING TOOOOOOO!
God: Here’s a box of parts, go nuts.
God: -several hours later- Gabe? Where are you, my son?
Gabriel: DAD, LOOKIT!
God: Dafuq is that?
Gabriel: A PLATYPUS!

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OHMYGODS, THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THAT!

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image

They don’t do much

this is the fucking funniest thing ever

LOOK at it though

"just put it in australia"


thegingerbatch:

recoveringgayfish:

ok guys so i just had a breakthrough 
so in the beginning of the song pompeii by bastille it sounds like theyre saying eheu a bunch of times well eheu is latin for ‘alas’ or ‘oh no’
and iM STILL LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE ITS CALLED POMPEII AND MOUNT VESUVIUS DESTROYED THE FUCKIN CITY OF COURSE THEY WOULD BE SAYING OH NO 

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wisped:

wisped:

What do you call someone who is obsessed with the moon

a lunatic


tockthewatchdog:

mattheuphonium:

kim-jong-chill:

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

fabulous 

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.